Portal Passers: Why Do We Follow the Ring?
by Catt of the Portal Passers
Summary: They were three best friends who loved Lord of the Rings. Now they've been pulled into Middle Earth, and must join the Fellowship and save Middle Earth according to a prophecy. What effect will this adventure have on their lives...or their minds?
1. The Nightmare Begins

Author's Notes: This chapter takes place before 'Return of the King' came out in theaters. Just thought you should know. I'm so glad this fic is back!

Carolyn slammed the book shut. "This isn't working!" she bellowed. Carolyn sat with her best friends Caitlin and Katie in her living room trying to read 'The Return of the King' from Lord of the Rings. "I want to see the movie now!!!" Carolyn growled.

"Get used to it." Katie said rolling her eyes. "The third movie won't be out until November!"

"NOVEMBER IS TOO LONG!" Carolyn shrieked, "IT SEEMS LIKE FOREVER!!!"

"Carolyn! Quit acting like a psychopath!" Katie yelled.

"He's soooo cute…" Caitlin murmured as she looked over Carolyn's picture of the elf Legolas. It was autographed by Orlando Bloom himself. She had sent the picture in the mail, and gotten it back with his signature six weeks later.

"Speaking of psychopaths!" Carolyn shouted snatching the picture from Caitlin's hands. Orlando Bloom had actually touched the picture; she didn't want anyone dirtying it. "Caitlin! Legolas is a fictional character! He doesn't exist!"

"I know…" Caitlin sighed. "But he's soooo cute!"

"Stop saying that you nut!" Katie yelled.

Carolyn, Katie, and Caitlin were all very pretty young teenage girls. Carolyn was 14, and had short blond hair that fell in coils on her shoulders, and pale blue eyes. She was wearing a pink top with spaghetti straps. She was wearing white sneakers with dark blue stripes on the sides. She was also wearing baggy blue jeans.

Katie was also 14 and the shortest of the group. She had fuzzy reddish-brown hair and brown eyes with light brown colored contacts. She was wearing black fishnets with a black tank top underneath it. She was wearing black skintight jeans with a black belt. She was also wearing black combat boots. Needless to say she loved black. Her nails were also painted black.

Caitlin was 15 and had long brown hair and blue eyes. She was wearing a red t-shirt with orange fire on the front. She was wearing long skin-tight jeans and white sneakers. They all had fair white skin.

Carolyn brushed her hair out of her eyes and sighed. "I love Lord of the Rings! It's the coolest movie of all time, except maybe for Harry Potter, but I just can't read 'The Return of the King'. It's just so hard to picture what's happening. If there isn't a little movie playing in my head than I'm not getting it."

"Me too." Katie sighed. "I really didn't want to wait to find out what happens to Frodo and the others."

"Legolas…" Caitlin sighed dreamily.

"I SAID QUIT IT!!!" Carolyn screamed. She grabbed 'The Return of the King' off the couch and hurled it at her. Caitlin ducked and it hit the floor and opened to the last page.

"Whoa what's that?" Katie cried pointing at the book that was lying open on the floor. Carolyn's mouth hung open in shock. A purple blob of some sort was on the inside of the book cover. It swirled and glowed and made weird sucking sounds.

"Sweetness!" Carolyn cried kneeling by it.

"Watch out Carolyn!" Katie warned, "That thing looks radioactive!" Carolyn ignored her and poked it with her index finger.

"Ohhhh!" Carolyn said grinning, "It's fun to poke!"

"Knock that shit off!" Katie yelled.

"It's making neat 'glub' sounds!" Carolyn laughed as she continued to poke it, "Glub, glub, glub, glub, glu-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The substance had wrapped around Carolyn's arm and was crawling up towards her shoulder.

"GET IT OFF! IT'S PULLING ME IN!" She wailed. Katie grabbed Carolyn by the shoulders and tried to pull her free.

"It's no good! Caitlin get a knife! We'll have to cut the arm off!"

"WHAT?! FORGET IT!" Carolyn screamed.

"It's going to pull you in!"

"...TAKE THE ARM! TAKE IT!"

Suddenly there was a WHOOSH sound and Carolyn was sucked into the back cover screaming.

"CAROLYN!" Katie cried. She jumped in after her friend not caring where she wound up.

"WHEE! MIDDLE EARTH!" Caitlin cheered. She jumped in after them.


	2. We're in Middle Earth, Stupid!

"AHHH!" Screamed the girls.

"Huh?" Frodo, who was just getting off Gandalf's wagon, said looking up.

THUMP!

The three girls fell on the little hobbit.

"Ugh!"

"Uh!"

"Eeep!" Moaned Carolyn, Katie and Caitlin in that order.

"OWE! Would you please get off me?!" Frodo yelled as over three times his weight crushed him.

"Sorry!" Caitlin sputtered for them all.

"Well this is something you don't see every Christmas!" Exclaimed Carolyn staring bug-eyed at Frodo.

"Oh lord!" Frodo grunted as he clumsily sat up. "Well here's another three to put on the list of disturbers of the peace for the Bagganses."

Katie, being the first one on her feet, helped Frodo up. She was bigger than he was but still exceptionally small for a human. She stared at him for a minute, her red hair in a frizzy mess on her head.

"Hey guys! Look! Someone older, yet SMALLER than me!" She said laughing and pointing at Frodo. She didn't realize whom she was talking about. She doubled over in laughter.

Carolyn was the next on her feet. She was tall for a human making her a good 3 inches taller than Katie. "Katie, Caitlin...I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."

"We never WERE in Kansas!" Caitlin scoffed, "We're not in Carolyn's living room anymore would've been more accurate."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!" Katie and Carolyn shrieked in unison.

"Duh! We're in Middle-Earth stupid!"

"How?" Carolyn asked still in shock. She was staring at Frodo in disbelief. One of her favorite characters from the movies…and he was standing right in front of her.

"Do I have to explain everything to the two of you?!" Caitlin asked."Of course you do. You're the oldest, therefore knowing the most stuff and having the most experience. We turn to you in our time of need, danger, and stupidity." Katie explained as if this should be obvious.

"Speak for yourself!" Carolyn snapped.

Caitlin slapped herself on the forehead.

"The purple gunk on the back of the cover in Carolyn's book was not an actual substance. It was a break in the time-space universe divide."  
  
The three listening to her stared blankly at her.

"SIGH It was a portal! Carolyn's and our will to go and see the movie, or in this case LIVE the movie, was so strong that when Carolyn threw the book at me it ripped the lining of the dimension that we wanted to go to and created a portal or 'rip' that we could go through to get there."  
She inhaled deeply for she had said this all in one breath.

"How do you know all this?" Katie said in awe.

"I read too many scfi books and watch the scfi channel too much and have tried to prove other dimensions exist to NOT know." She shrugged her shoulders.

"So when I chucked the book at you it hit the 'lining' that divides the dimensions and put a rip in it?" Asked Carolyn.

"To an extent yes," Caitlin said as if this was something that happened everyday, "And if my theory is correct the fabric or 'lining' will fix itself." She stared up at the sky like she was expecting something, "There is it is...yep, I was right."  
  
As they looked up they saw a blobby purple thing in the sky shrinking into nothing.

"WELL THIS IS JUST GREAT!" Screamed Carolyn, "NOW how are we going to get home?" She threw her hands in the air and let them fall at her sides.

"We have to wait until another portal opens." Caitlin said matter-of-factly. "The dimensions will eventually realize that there's something, or in this case THREE things, missing. Then the dimensions will do some sort of search. When they find us the fabric will open up again and let us back in our own world...unless..." She trailed off.

"Unless what?" Katie asked.

"Unless we were sent here for some reason. You know, to do something so the space-time continuum doesn't get messed up. Like to make sure Frodo doesn't get killed before he finds out about the-," She stopped.

Frodo was standing there bug-eyed at this girl like she was from outer space. Although they were speaking the same language he understood about 20% of what she was saying. He suddenly realized his name had been mentioned and they were now staring at him in silence.

Caitlin had stopped because she realized that she shouldn't give anything away that Frodo shouldn't know yet. Carolyn realized that too. Katie, on the other hand, didn't.

"You mean about the rin-," Carolyn slapping her hand over her mouth cut her off.

"I can't tell you two anymore because that's all I know. I suggest that we stay with Merry, Pippin, Sam, Frodo or Gandalf. At least whom they are...except..." Caitlin didn't want to say too much in front of Frodo. "At least for Bilbo's party. We can't go with Gandalf after all. Soro...I mean HE would realize how important we are and kill us on the spot. So maybe we should stick with Pippin, Merry, Sam, and Frodo." She started to pace. She always paced when she took charge of a situation.

"I'll go with Frodo to keep an eye on everything," Caitlin finally said, "Katie, you can go with Merry and Pippin since you're small enough and would enjoy that prank they're going to pull later." Katie jumped up and down. She always wanted to set off huge firework that threw a whole party into pandemonium.

"And that leaves me with Sam. Why ME?" Carolyn shrieked.

"You're good at sneaking around." Was all Caitlin said. Carolyn, seeing the sense in that, agreed.

"HOLD UP!" Yelled Frodo, "Who are you people and how do you know me, Sam, Merry, and Pippin?"  
  
"I'm Caitlin!" Proclaimed Caitlin cheerfully totally changing moods.  
  
"The names Carolyn." Carolyn said making the peace sign with her index and middle fingers.

"My name's Katie, lord of stupidity, hey how you doing?" Katie said sticking out her hand. Frodo stared at her blankly. She pulled her hand back and rolled her eyes.

"We're from another dimension. And we're...best friends...with the yous in our world." Caitlin lied.

"Ok...but how did you know we were in this dimension?" Frodo sighed.

"Because we...have uh...powers of prediction!" Caitlin said quickly.

"GREAT save." Carolyn said sarcastically. "Bravo." She clapped unenthusiastically.

"SHUT UP! And my powers tell me..." Caitlin said quickly, "You will have more than one big surprise tonight." She fibbed again.

"Well..." Said a very confused Frodo, on. I'll show you to Merry, Pippin, and Sam. Now...uh...who's staying with me again?"


	3. Parties and Pandemonium

Author's Note:

Carolyn: Caitlin and Katie were too lazy to write up their chapters. Plus the foul demon known as writer's blocked devoured both of their minds. So now the whole fanfic shall be typed by Carolyn the wonderful, smart, beautiful, funny, genius, kind, sweet, creative...

Caitlin: GET ON WITH IT!  
  
Katie: YES, GET ON WITH IT!

Frodo: GET ON WITH IT!

Sam: MOVE IT!

Merry and Pippin: HURRY UP!  
  
Aragon: COME ON ALREADY!

Gimli: SHADDUP YOU DITZ!

Legolas: I'M NEVER GONNA APPEAR IN THIS FIC AM I?!  
  
Everyone in Middle Earth: GET ON WITH IT!

Carolyn: YIKES! Okay, okay! I'll be doing all the writing from now on, needless to say this will slow down production quite a bit. BUT I AM ONLY HUMAN!

Sauron: Well put.

Carolyn: hits Sauron on the head with a shovel and walks away humming happily 

Now...ON WITH THE SHOW!

* * *

Later that night...

It was during Bilbo's party. Carolyn and Caitlin towered over all the hobbits at the party. But Katie, being the shortest, fit right in. She had run off to steal fireworks with Merry and Pippin. Carolyn and Caitlin had pretended to get drunk and were now doing the chicken dance. Frodo watched them bug-eyed.

"People in your dimension actually dance like that?" He asked them when they sat down next to him to take a brake.

"Sure! All the time!" Caitlin said as if this was no big deal. She frowned and turned to Carolyn who was sweating and gasping for breath. Carolyn got tired very easily. "You okay Carolyn?"  
  
Carolyn shook her head. "Whiskey…" She gasped.

"Here you go." Frodo said pouring her a small shot-glass full of whiskey. She grabbed it eagerly.

"WAIT! YOU CAN'T DRINK THAT! YOU'RE A MINOR!" Caitlin wailed.

"Oh boo-frickidy-hoo." Carolyn said waving off Caitlin's comment. With those touching words, she downed the whole shot-glass in one gulp.

"How do you feel?" Caitlin asked anxiously.

"That was the weakest crap I've ever drunk!" Carolyn said drunkly. "And why the hell is the party spinning around me?"

"OH NO! I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN!" Caitlin shrieked. Carolyn laughed.

"Nah, I'm just messing with you buddy." Carolyn said soberly. "It'll take a LOT more than that to get ME drunk!"

Meanwhile Katie, Merry, and Pippin had just stolen the huge dragon firework…thing.

"This is gonna be sweet!" Katie squealed as Merry stuck it in the ground and Pippin lit the fuse.

"Stick it in the ground." Merry instructed Pippin.

"It is in the ground!" Pippin cried.

"Maybe we should've lit it outside…" Merry gulped.

"WELL THIS WAS YOUR IDEA!" Pippin cried. Suddenly there was a great WHOOSH sound and the firework shot upward taking the top of the tent with it. A huge fiery dragon burst from where the firework had gone.

And then, all hell broke loose.

Everyone was running around screaming in terror as the 'dragon' swooped down over the party. The only calm ones were Carolyn and Caitlin who were sitting at a table calmly sipping ale.

Suddenly the dragon soared up high into the sky and exploded in a brilliant flash of light. Everyone laughed at their own fear and applauded.

Meanwhile, Katie, Merry, and Pippin's faces were covered with soot and ash from the firework. Katie felt her forehead and froze.

"MY EYEBROWS!" She wailed. "MY BEAUTIFUL EYEBROWS ARE GONE! Oh here they are." She said suddenly all bright and cheerful. She picked them off the ground and stuck them back on over her eyes.

"Why are you so peppy all of a sudden?" Merry asked staring at her.

Katie grinned. "Because I just threw a whole party into pandemonium with my two best buddies!" She said hugging them both.

"What about Carolyn and Caitlin?" Pippin asked obviously confused.

"Aw the hell with them."

"Let's go get another firework." Merry whispered. Katie and Pippin both nodded when someone seized Merry and Pippin by the ears and spun them around.

"Ah, Meriadoc Brandybuck, Peregrin Took, and…someone I don't quite know." Gandalf said frowning as he noticed Katie.

"My name's Katie!" She said cheerfully. (She was cheerful because she had drunk two barrels full of beer earlier).

"Ah. For a moment I thought you were a leprechaun because of your red hair and your height."

"WHAT?!" She screamed in fury. Her eyes started twitching. Realizing his life might be in danger, Gandalf quickly hurried off.

"What a way to get out of trouble." Pippin said smiling.


	4. Guessing Numbers

The time came for Bilbo's speech. While everyone else was listening intently, the three girls, who already knew what was going to happen, just sat there, listening slightly, and sipping ale. When they came back to reality, Bilbo was just uttering the most confusing line in the Tolkien world.

"…I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve!" The aged Hobbit announced.

While everyone else looked around confused as to whether this was a compliment or not, Carolyn, Katie, and Caitlin, spat out the ale they were drinking. The three of them exploded into laughter. Carolyn was the drunkest and was pounding her fist on the table, hiccupping and laughing at the same time. The party fell silent and stared at them. This went on for a full five minutes; the three were too drunk to quit laughing.

"What's with them?" Sam whispered to Frodo.

"Must be a human thing…"

"I regret to announce," Bilbo continued after the three girl's laughter had calmed to a quiet snicker. "That this is the end. I'm going now." He stuck his hand in his pocket where the ring was kept, "I wish you all a very fond farewell…goodbye."

In an instant, Bilbo was gone. Frodo stood up and looked around frantically as the party exploded into alarmed whispers. Everyone got up and began searching, except of course, for our three young heroines.

"Katie," Caitlin hissed to her friend, "You and me will find Frodo and make sure he doesn't go to Bilbo's house too early."

"Got it!"

"Carolyn?" Caitlin asked turning to her blitzed amigo, "Find Sam and make sure he's under the window and is found by Gandalf after the discussion on Sauron."

Carolyn didn't respond, rather, she COULDN'T respond. She was passed-out drunk, facedown on the table.

"Aw, man!" Katie cried. "She's wasted!" She turned to address the reader of this pointless story, "Remember kids, our age limits for alcohol consumption are in place for a reason! Don't become another Carolyn!" The floating words, 'The more you know…' temporarily appeared over her head, but they quickly vanished.

Caitlin grabbed a glass of water and spilled the contents on Carolyn's head. She coughed and sputtered.

"Doc, I'm dying'!" She gasped. Caitlin felt pity for her; it was obvious Carolyn was in for the granddaddy of all hangovers, come morning.

"You're not dying!" Caitlin snapped shaking her friend. "Now go find Sam and make sure he's under the window!"

"I'm on the way!" She said. She staggered off, drunker than Jack Sparrow. But after a few minutes, the dizziness wore off and then the massive headache Caitlin had foreseen struck.

"GOOD GLORIOUS GOD!" Carolyn screamed clutching her forehead. "DAMNIT THAT HURTS!" Everyone ignored her vulgarity; they were too busy looking for Bilbo.

"They think I'm weird." She grumbled, "They live in a world that doesn't even have aspirin. Ah well, I'll take my rage out on Katie like I always do." She looked around, "Where'd you go, Sam?" She said to no one in particular. Suddenly someone slammed into her and fell down. "Watch where you're going, jerk-face!" She snapped. Then she stopped. Sam was sitting on the ground rubbing his head.

"Sorry Carolyn. I was just about to check down the road for any sign of Bilbo. I've never seen Mr. Frodo so worried before."

The color drained from Carolyn's face. "You mean you weren't planning on going to check outside Bilbo's house?"

"No." Sam said frowning slightly, "Why would I?"

A horrible thought crossed Carolyn's mind. If Sam didn't overhead Frodo and Gandalf's conversation, then Gandalf wouldn't make him join Frodo on his quest, and then he'd never become part of the fellowship, and then…here comes that headache again.

She grabbed Sam by the front of the shirt. "Sam! Please come with me to check Bilbo's house! There's something you HAVE to know!" She was trying to be polite, but in reality her anxiousness made her want to wring his neck.

"But why-"

Carolyn snapped. "LISTEN YOU! YOU'RE COMING WITH ME TO BAG'S-END AND YOU'RE GONNA HEAR FRODO AND GANDALF'S CONVERSATION! GOT IT??"

"Okay." Sam squeaked.

"Goody-goody-gumdrops." Carolyn said tugging on his arm. "Let's go."

Frodo, Katie, and Caitlin burst into Bilbo's home. Frodo looked around frantically for any sign of his uncle. Gandalf was sitting near the fireplace, smoking his pipe.

"He's gone, isn't he?" Frodo asked miserably. Gandalf seemed to be in deep thought, so he only gave a slight nod. Frodo sighed. "He spoke so often of leaving. I never took him seriously though…"

"He left you something." Gandalf said motioning towards a table. Frodo walked over to it and picked up a small envelope. He opened it and looked inside.

"Bilbo's ring?" He asked in shock as he lifted it out. It glittered in the faint firelight that emitted from the hearth. Katie and Caitlin shuddered as they realized that was the very same ring that had once rested on the finger of the dark lord Sauron. "Why would he leave me this?"

Gandalf was quiet for a moment. Then he spoke up. "Give me the ring for a moment, Frodo. I wish to test something."

Frodo handed him the ring. Gandalf then tossed it into the fireplace.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Frodo cried. He reached for a poker to lift it out, but Gandalf blocked his arm. For a moment, he just stared at the ring that rested in the middle of the flames. Then he picked up the poker and lifted it out. The ring looked perfectly normal, like it hadn't even been burned.

"Take it Frodo," Gandalf said holding it out to him, "I think you'll find its quite cool."

He dropped it in Frodo's palm. The ring wasn't even warm. And was also quite heavy for such a small object.

"QUITE cool?!" Katie asked bouncing around on the tips of her toes. "That's the coolest thing I've ever seen! That's probably the coolest thing in existence! The greatest most awesome thing ever!"

Caitlin punched her in the head as Gandalf began the story of the one ring. (Of course you already know it, if not then what the hell are you doing reading a Lord of the Rings fanfic you fool?).

Meanwhile, just outside the window, Sam and Carolyn were listening intently to every word that was said inside.

"Wow," Sam whispered, "I can't believe Sauron is after Frodo now."  
  
"Not Frodo," Carolyn stated, "Anyone who has the ring. Now be quiet, he's finished with the story and it's almost time for you to be-"

At that moment, Gandalf's arm reached outside and yanked Sam inside.

"...Caught." Carolyn finished.

"Eavesdropping were we??" Gandalf demanded of a terrified Sam.

"I wasn't dropping no eaves sir, honest!" Sam sputtered. "I mean, I heard a good deal about a ring, a dark lord, and something about the end of the world. But other than that..." He ran out of excuses. He frantically pointed towards the window he'd been pulled in from. "DON'T BLAME ME! SHE MADE ME COME!"

Carolyn hopped up on the windowsill. She wore a calm expression. "It's true." She said flatly.

"YOU were behind this?" Gandalf said sounding stunned, "You always struck me as the SANE one!"

"Well, sir," Carolyn said convincingly. All those acting lessons seemed to be paying off, "Me and my friends have the powers of foresight, and I did this, because it's important that Sam know the score, because it's CRUCIAL that he joins Frodo's quest."

At the mention of the word 'foresight', Caitlin grinned and nudged Katie. "I foresaw your death last night."

"Stop saying that."

"That's right!" Frodo cried, "They told me that they have foresight when we first met!"

"Oh really?" Gandalf said skeptically, "Then what number am I thinking of?"

"1."

"3."

"4." Carolyn, Caitlin, and Katie all said at once in that order. They froze. No way in hell would Gandalf believe them now. Their cover was blown.

"Amazing!" Gandalf cried in disbelief, "That was the exact number I was thinking of! 134!"

Carolyn wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

"Yes…you must have the gift of foresight." Gandalf said nodding, "So Sam here must join Frodo eh? All right, he'll go. And you three will accompany him."

"Really?" Katie asked in amazement.

"I understand it may be a difficult journey for the three of you, but…"

"YAHOO!" The three teens cheered at once interrupting the wizard. They each leapt a foot off the ground.

"I'M GONNA SEE MORDOR!" Katie cheered.

"I'M GOING TO SEE THE CITY OF THE ELVES!" Caitlin cried.

"I'M GONNA MEET LEGOLAS!!!!!" Carolyn squealed.

"LEGOLAS!" Carolyn and Caitlin screamed at once.

"You guys are sick." Katie said glaring at them. Carolyn and Caitlin were huge fangirls of the sexiest elf of all time. Katie however, wasn't.

"…May God have mercy on our souls." Sam sighed.

"I will go speak to the leader of my order, Saurmon the White." Gandalf said getting up to leave, "And one word of advice Frodo, DON'T PUT THE RING ON!"

And then he walked out the door.

"That was NOT what he said in the movie." Katie pointed out.

"No shit Sherlock." Carolyn said rolling her eyes.


	5. Katie's Sing Along Songs!

The next day…

"…WE'RE ON THE ROAD TO RIVENDELL!" Katie sang at the top of her lungs for the fiftieth time, "WE CERTAINLY DO GET AROOOOOUND!"

"SHUT UP!" Carolyn screamed socking Katie on the head. The first five times, the song had been cute, then it had turned to annoying, then it just filled Carolyn with unparalleled murderous rage. Over the years, Katie had turned into an outlet for Carolyn's verbal and physical abuse. Katie still remained blissfully unaware that her wacky antics earned her hostile feelings from her chum.

Sam sighed and threw his home a backward glance. "One more step and I'll be the furthest away from the Shire I've ever been."

"Don't feel so sad." Carolyn said smiling weakly, "I'm in a completely different dimension, and I'm not the least bit sad! Sure, I miss my parents and my little brother, but I'm doing what I've always wanted, I'm getting to go on a world-changing adventure!"

The two hobbits and the three girls were now on their way from the Shire. Carolyn, Katie, and Caitlin had bags stuffed with supplies slung over their backs.

"And I'm going to do what I'VE always wanted to do." Caitlin sighed with happiness, "I'm meeting Legolas in person…It's better than meeting Orlando Bloom. He actually has the EARS!!!!!!"

"Don't get your hopes up Caitlin," Carolyn said smiling, "Once I turn on my charm, he won't be able to resist me!"

"Why do you guys like him so much?" Katie asked, "I mean, his character's cool with the arrow shooting and everything, but other than that, what is there?"

"He's heroic." Caitlin stated.

"He's kind." Carolyn sighed dreamily.

"He's brave."

"He's an expert archer."

"He's smart."

"He's hot beyond all possible reason."

"He's a prince."  
  
"He's an elf."  
  
"In short," The two girls said at once, "HE'S PERFECT!"

"…Whatever." Katie said rolling her eyes.

"Whom are they talking about?" Sam asked frowning.

"I don't know." Frodo sighed.

At that moment, Merry and Pippin burst out of the corn stalks surrounding them. Their arms were loaded with vegetables.

"QUICK! TAKE THESE!" Pippin cried shoving his armful into Sam's arms.

"YOU'VE BEEN INTO FARMER MAGGOT'S CROPS!" Sam shouted angrily.

At that moment, they heard shouting coming from behind them.

"…CHEESE IT!" Carolyn screamed. Everyone took off running in the opposite direction from the shouts.

"I don't know why he's so upset!" Merry cried as they ran, "It was just a couple of potatoes!"

"And those cabbages last week!" Pippin added.

"Oh yeah."  
  
"And those carrots the week before."

"Yes Pippin, I can see!" Merry yelled angrily, "The point is, he is clearly overreacting!"

At that moment, they all burst out of the cornfield and tumbled down a hill. Fortunately, everyone stopped at the bottom, right at the edge of ledge about 10 feet above the path below them.

Unfortunately, Katie hadn't stopped. She slammed into her group of friends. Everyone went toppling over, screaming. They hit the ground in a mass of bodies and tangled limbs.

"I think I've broken something." Pippin sighed picking up a broken carrot.

"…Merry?" Carolyn said frowning, "Your hand is on my ass!"

"Sorry!" Merry cried, "It's an accident!"

"…YOUR HAND IS STILL THERE!"

"AND ITS STILL AN ACCIDENT!"

Everyone got up and brushed the dirt off their clothing. Carolyn slapped Merry upside the head.

"It wasn't my fault!" Merry shouted, "Caitlin was on top of my arm, I couldn't move my hand!"

"Unbelievable bullshit." Carolyn said calmly.

Suddenly, an eerie wind blew down the path. The leaves rustled and blew upwards in small cyclones. It didn't bother Sam, Merry, or Pippin, but Frodo, Carolyn, Katie, and Caitlin felt an icy feeling in the pits of their stomachs.

"GET OFF THE ROAD!" Frodo cried. Everyone jumped to the side and tumbled into a small notch in the earth under a tree on the side of the path. They heard a horse's thundering footsteps. Then they stopped and there was the sound of someone getting off a horse. While the four hobbits listened in terror, the three girls (having seen 'The Fellowship of the Ring' countless times) already knew what it was; a Ringwraith.

They could hear it sniffing around an overturned tree just above their heads. Everyone covered their mouths so the horrible thing wouldn't hear their terrified breathing, and also because of it's unbearable stench.

It was then, that Carolyn became aware of the large assortment of insects crawling onto her jeans. Now, one important thing about Carolyn is that she was an animal lover. Somehow, almost every animal in the world appeared cute and fuzzy to her, except for one key species: insects.

Carolyn opened her mouth to let out a bloodcurdling scream, but Katie and Caitlin, who were sitting on both sides of her, spotted their friend's movements and clamped their hands over her mouth. She struggled with her friends and whined in an attempt to cry out. Finally, frustrated beyond all possible reason, she bit Katie's hand. Katie managed to hold in her curse words.

Caitlin looked over to the side. Her eye widened, Frodo was holding the ring between his thumb and index finger. His hand was shaking as he struggled not to slide it on his index finger. She reached over and slapped his hand. He jerked the ring back and let it fall against his chest, where it hung from its chain.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the Ringwraith gave a screech of frustration. It got back on its horse and rode off.

The moment it was out of earshot, Carolyn stood up screaming and jumping around, shaking off the many centipedes and spiders that clung to her legs. She then punched Katie.

"What's the quickest way out of here?" Frodo hissed to Merry and Pippin. He was eager to leave, the woods weren't very large, and if they continued down the road, they would probably run into the ringwraith again.

"It's the-" Merry began to say.

"The Buckleberry Ferry?" Caitlin said interrupting him, "Alright, let's go."

Merry stared at her in shock. "How did she-"

"Psychic." Sam stated.

"Oh."

As the sun sank below the horizon, everyone found themselves a short distance away from the pier. They could see it just beyond a cluster of trees.

"Okay, guys! Let's go, move slowly, and whatever you do, don't panic." Caitlin whispered. They began to slink through the bushes, closer to the pier, "Slowly," She continued, "Don't panic, we'll be all right, just don't panic..."  
  
Suddenly they heard a horse neigh and the sound of a Ringwraith's screech.

"...PANIC!" Caitlin screamed. Everyone bolted forward. They burst from the trees and headed towards the small raft. Everyone climbed aboard. Sam grabbed a pole and pushed away from the dock. Caitlin looked up and screamed.

Frodo had fallen behind the others. He was sprinting down the pier as the raft pulled further away. The Ringwraith was only a few feet behind him.

"RUN MAN!" Katie screamed.

"COME ON JUMP!" Carolyn cried. Everyone shouted out encouraging words to the young hobbit. When he reached the end of the pier, he didn't stop. He leapt off with all his strength. He soared through the air and for a moment, it didn't look like he was going to make it. But he reached out and grabbed onto the raft. Merry and Carolyn pulled him onboard (you never would expect someone so small to jump so far). Everyone looked up; the Ringwraith reared back on his horse in anger, and then took off into the shadows of the forest.

Everyone collapsed back onto the raft in exhaustion. Frodo was sopping wet and gasping for air. Sam looked down the river and sighed. "It's a long way to Bree..."

"I know something that'll keep our spirits up!" Katie said excitedly, "It'll calm us all down after we nearly got the shit scared out of us."

"What?" Carolyn asked. She was desperate for any relief from her nerves.

Katie cleared her throat, and began to sing in a loud deep voice, "OOOOLD MAAAAAN RIVEEEEER...THAT OOOOLD MAAAAN RIVEEEEEER...HE JUST KEEPS ROOOLLING..."

Carolyn pushed Katie off the raft.


	6. Carolyn's Drunk Again

They finally reached Bree. They came up to a towering wooden gate.

"Now let's see…" Caitlin said tapping the wood, "How do we get in?"

Suddenly a small square in the wood slid open making everyone jump. A man stuck his head through the hole.

"What's going on? Who are you?" He snapped.

"Four of us are hobbits, the girls are humans." Frodo explained, "My name is Underhill." He said giving the name Gandalf had instructed him to use.

"What about them?" The man asked suspiciously of Carolyn, Katie, and Caitlin, "It's not everyday you see humans traveling with hobbits. What are your names?"

"Uh…Fuzzy." Katie said quickly. Carolyn, Katie, and Caitlin each had a nickname that the three of them used to address each other sometimes. Katie's was Fuzzy 'cause of her frizzy hair, Caitlin's was Catt 'cause her name is similar, and Carolyn's was Link, on account she was very good with computers and a computer genius from 'The Matrix' was named Link.

"Catt." Caitlin said. She looked at Carolyn, expecting her to say Link.

"Ariana." Carolyn said proudly. Caitlin stared at her with an eyebrow raised.

"And what's your purpose here?" The man hissed at Frodo.

"We wish to meet someone at the Prancing Pony Inn! Our business is our own!" Frodo cried. He was getting very agitated.

"Alright, alright." The man said quickly. He opened the gates, "Sorry for the interrogation; there have been strange folk about; can't be too careful."

The minute they were out of earshot of the man, Katie turned to Carolyn. "Ariana? What are you, some kind of freakn' elf?"

"Well excuse me! I've always thought Ariana was a pretty name." Carolyn said. She folded her arms and smirked, "What's it to you, FUZZY?"

"Ah, touché."

As they came up to the 'Prancing Pony Inn' Caitlin tapped Carolyn on the shoulder.

"Hey, Carolyn? In the movie I don't remember there being any other girls here."

"Yeah!" Katie chimed in,  "I don't even remember anyone selling themselves to 'do the nasty' in the there!"

"Lemme get this straight," Carolyn said turning to her friends, "You're telling me, that we're going to be the only girls in a bar, surrounded by drunk, perverted, and possibly violent men?"  
  
They both nodded.

"This won't end well." Carolyn sighed.

Later inside, Katie was laying under the spout of a barrel full of beer, with it at full blast, chugging beer as fast as it came out. Everyone surrounding her was chanting, 'CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!' When the first barrel was empty, a new one quickly replaced it.

At a nearby table, a waiter set two pitchers full of beer in front of Carolyn and Caitlin.

"Whoa!" Carolyn said in shock, "They didn't even card us! I'll have to remember this place..."  
  
Caitlin tapped the waiter. "Are you sure you don't have any water? Just beer?"

"Yes ma'am. I'm sorry."  
  
Caitlin sighed and stared at her pitcher. Carolyn meanwhile, was much happier about the drinks.

"Oh beer," Carolyn whispered with joy, "Sweet nectar of the gods!" She grabbed it and downed the entire pitched in one gulp.

"WOOT!" Carolyn cheered as the drunkenness took hold once again, "'NOTHER BEER HERE!"

"Did you actually TASTE any of that?!" Caitlin said in awe, as she stared at Carolyn's empty pitcher.

"NOPE!"

Caitlin was glancing around nervously. "Aren't Ringwraiths supposed to show up and attack us soon?"

"Naw." Carolyn said as the waiter placed another pitcher in front of her, "They'll try to stab us in our sleep, but Aragorn shows up and helps us out, remember?"

"Oh yeah. So when do we met Aragorn?"  
  
"Don't worry, we won't meet him until Frodo falls over and the ring slips onto his finger-"

THUMP!

At that moment Frodo fell backward, as he did so the ring fell onto the index finger of his hand. He vanished completely.

"...Shit." Carolyn sighed.

As soon as Frodo became visible again, a man wearing a black-hooded cloak grabbed him and dragged him through a door.

"THAT WAS ARAGORN!" Caitlin cried, "COME ON GUYS! LET'S FOLLOW!"

"Can I finish my beer?" Carolyn asked.

"NO!"

"DAMN!" Carolyn swore. She turned and walked over to Katie who was still chugging beer. She grabbed her by the back of the shirt and started to drag her along. "Come on ya drunkard..."


	7. Second Breakfast Woes

Carolyn, Caitlin, Katie, Sam, Merry, and Pippin, all hurried up the stairs to where Aragorn had taken Frodo. Merry had a broken ale bottle in his right hand for defense, Pippin had his fists, and Sam had his faithful frying pan. They kicked the door open. Aragorn was sitting there, talking to Frodo. He spun around and stared at them.

"LET MR. FRODO GO!" Sam shouted waving his weapon/utensil.

"Chill guys." Katie said standing up groggily. She had been drunk and Carolyn was dragging her across the floor, remember? "He's on our side."

"Huh?" The three hobbits exclaimed.

"It's true." Frodo said nodding, "His name is Strider and he knows about the Ring."

Carolyn smiled. "Strider huh? Well I know his real name!"  
  
 "That IS my real name!" Aragorn said quickly.

"Sure it is, STRIDER." Caitlin said winking as she said Strider.

"Stop it."

"Sure thing, STRIDER."

"I said STOP!"

"Alrighty, STRIDER."

Aragorn sighed. "Whatever. You should all stay here tonight. They are coming."  
  
 "Who's coming, STRIDER?" Carolyn said grinning. Aragorn slapped himself on the head.

Later that night, as everyone slept on the floor, loud shrieks of anger, coming from where their rooms were SUPPOSED to be, awoke everyone. Katie jumped to her feet, covered her ears, grinned broadly, and hopped up and down. Loud noises excited her, plus she was far away from her beloved death metal music and this is the only thing that even came close.

"What are they?" Frodo asked staring out the window as the Ringwraiths poured into the streets, screaming in fury.

"They were once men, great kings of men. Then Sauron the Deceiver gave to them Nine Rings of Power. Blinded by their greed they took them without question, one by one falling to darkness. And now they are slaves to his will. They are the Nazgûl, Ringwraiths, neither living nor dead. At all times they feel the presence of the Ring, drawn to the power of the One."

"Wow." Katie said in amazement, "That's the first serious line I've heard in a long time!"

"We can no longer wait for Gandalf." Aragorn continued, "We must make for Rivendell as soon as the sun rises. In the meantime, you should get some rest for the journey; you'll all need it."

The next day, as they walked down the path, Aragorn was explaining more about the Ringwraiths.

"They will never stop hunting you, when you place the ring on your finger, they are drawn to it."

"Where are you leading us anyway?" Sam asked.

"Weren't you listening last night?" Aragorn sighed. "We're going to Rivendell to see Lord Elerond."

"Do you hear that?" Sam cried in excitement, "Rivendell! We're going to see the elves!"

After trudging through the wood for the next few hours, everyone finally stopped to eat. Aragorn, unfortunately, didn't agree with the idea.

"Gentlemen, we do not stop until nightfall."

"What about breakfast?" Pippin asked.

"You've already had it."

"We've had one, yes, but what about Second Breakfast?"

Aragorn stared at him in confusion for a moment; then he rolled his eyes and turned away.

"I don't think he knows about Second Breakfast Pip." Merry suggested.

"But what about elevensies? Luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, supper? He knows about them, doesn't he?"

"I wouldn't count on it…"

"I can't believe you guys." Carolyn said rolling her eyes, "It no wonder Sam's so fat!"

Sam spun around and stared at her in shock. "HEY!"

"It's the hard truth Sammie Boy, live with it."

Suddenly Aragorn flung some apples at Merry and Pippin. Pippin was so caught off guard; that one hit him square in the head and he fell over.

"PIPPIN!" Merry cried.

Later on, the sun finally began to set, and that's when Aragorn finally decided they could stop for the night.

Aragorn gestured towards a tall hill with a flat top. "This was the great watchtower of Amon Sûl. We shall rest here tonight."

After a long trudge up the hillside, they reached the top and set up camp. Aragorn handed Carolyn, Katie, and Caitlin each a sword.

"These are for you, keep them close."  
  
 "Where did you get these?" Carolyn asked staring at her weapon in amazement.

"Gandalf gave them to me." Aragorn said as he passed out blades to Sam, Merry, and Pippin as well.

"Finally!" Katie cried happily swinging her sword, "A real weapon! No longer will I be outdone by the fat hobbit's frying pan!"

Sam hit her on the head with his frying pan.

"I'm going to have a look around. You stay here." Aragorn instructed. Then he was suddenly gone into the night.

After waiting for Aragorn to return, Carolyn, Caitlin, and Frodo all got bored and fell asleep.

"I'm hungry…" Pippin said rubbing his stomach.

"I got an idea!" Katie said, "Let's build a fire and cook some food on it!"

"Katie! What a great idea! You found a brain!" Sam cheered.

As they started the fire, Caitlin opened her eyes slightly. She was still half-asleep. She spotted the fire and sighed.

 "Better not tempt fate…" She mumbled. She dozed off again.

About ten minutes later, Carolyn yawned and sat up. She smelled food and looked up. Her eyes fell on the fire and her blood froze inside her veins.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" She screamed. Both Frodo and Caitlin were immediately snapped out of dreamland.

"WHA?! WHAT'S GOING ON?!" Caitlin cried glancing around sleepily. "WHO DIED?! WAS IT LEGOLAS?! PLEASE LET LEGOLAS BE ALRIGHT!"

"Who?" Merry said frowning.

Carolyn punched Caitlin on the head. "Nothing, she said nothing."

"What are you doing?!" Frodo cried to his friends as he jumped to his feet. "PUT THE FIRE OUT YOU FOOLS!" He ran over and stomped the flames out.

"Hey!" Pippin cried, "You got ash in my tomatoes!"

Suddenly everyone was interrupted by a Ringwraith's screech of discovery.

"DAMNIT!" Carolyn swore. "Everyone! Be on guard!" She drew her sword.

Suddenly something knocked her down. She screamed as she felt icy hands wrap around her throat. Katie lowered her head and ran at her attacker. She head butted it, knocking the Ringwraith to the ground. Carolyn stood up rubbing her sore throat.

Suddenly they were surrounded. It seemed as though every living Ringwraith had been drawn to them. Everyone had their weapons drawn.

"EVERYONE!" Caitlin screamed struggling with one of their attackers. "PROTECT FRODO! HE'S THE ONE THEY'RE AFTER!"

While the hobbits all struggled with their attackers, the one that had attacked Carolyn rose up and lunged at her again. She gripped her sword tightly in her hands and swung it at the creature horizontally. The blade made a deep wound across its stomach, and that should have been the end of it, but the monster simply raised its hand and struck her across the face. She was knocked to the side as the horrible creature advanced on Frodo.

The hobbit stumbled backwards and tripped. The Ringwraith reached for the ring. For a moment, it seemed Frodo was hypnotized and was about to hand it over, but he jerked his hand back. In a move of pure spite, the Ringwraith brought its sword down and stabbed Frodo in the chest. The tip of the blade sank into the spot just above his heart. He cried out in pain.

"FRODO!" Katie screamed. The Ringwraith raised its sword to deliver the killing blow to Frodo. Suddenly everyone heard a loud battle cry. Aragorn leapt off the piece of debris behind Frodo. He had a sword in each hand; both blades were on fire. The Ringwraith gave a screech of terror and leapt backwards. Aragorn landed in front of Frodo. His eyes were blazing. He swung both swords at the monster. It jumped back. All the Ringwraiths gave one last shriek of frustration before they retreated and vanished.

"Strider!" Sam cried. "Frodo's been wounded!"

Aragorn dropped to his knees next to Frodo. The fire on his swords faded and went out. "This is beyond my healing. He needs elvish medicine. We must get him to Rivendell!"

"It's six days to Rivendell!" Carolyn screamed, "He'll never make it!"

Aragorn picked up Frodo in his arms. "We must try! Hurry!" With that, everyone hastily grabbed their supplies and took off in the direction of Rivendell.


	8. Running From Wraiths

After 3 days of nonstop running, it was obvious that they wouldn't make it to Rivendell in time. Aside from Carolyn's constant complaining that she was getting a stomach cramp, Frodo was clearly getting worse. His eyes were glazed over, his breathing had turned into short gasps, and he couldn't move. Finally Aragorn stopped.

"Damn! He's not going to make it!" He set Frodo down on the ground.

"Is he going to die?" Pippin asked frantically.

"The poison from the sword is taking effect," Aragorn whispered, "He'll soon become a wraith like them." Carolyn had a fleeting image of Frodo wearing a hooded cloak and shuddered. Suddenly everyone heard a Ringwraith's screech.

"They're close." Merry whispered.

"Sam!" Aragorn said suddenly, "Do you know the athelas plant?"

"Athelas?"  
  
"Kingsfoil."

"Kingsfoil? Ah that's a weed!"

"It may help to slow the poison, hurry!"

They took off into the woods with their torches. After a few minutes of searching, Aragorn found some of the plant. As he crouched down to cut off a sprig, he felt a blade being pressed against his throat.

"What's this?" A familiar voice asked. "A Ranger, caught off his guard?"

While Aragorn and the hobbits were out looking for Kingsfoil, Carolyn, Caitlin, and Katie were back in the clearing, guarding Frodo.

"Shit, shit, shit, SHIT!" Caitlin swore as she paced back and forth. "Where are they?"  
  
Carolyn jumped as she heard another Ringwraith. She whimpered in terror and anxiety. Katie was sitting on the ground, hugging her knees, rocking back and forth whimpering, "Gonna die, gonna die, gonna die, gonna die…"

Suddenly Aragorn, Sam, Merry, and Pippin reappeared. They were accompanied by a female elf. She had long brown hair and unearthly blue eyes.

"It's Arwen…" Carolyn thought.

Arwen knelt down and began to speak to Frodo in elvish. "(Frodo, I am Arwen. I come to help you. Hear my voice, come back to the light.)"

"Who is she?" Merry asked in awe.

"She's an elf…" Sam whispered.

"He's fading." Arwen said in normal human language. "He's not going to last, we must get him to my father."

Aragorn picked up Frodo carried him to Arwen's horse.

"I've been looking for you for two days." Arwen said addressing Aragorn, "There are five wraiths behind you. Where the other four are…I do not know."

Aragorn and Arwen began to speak in elvish, so no one but the three girls knew what they were saying.

"(Stay with the Hobbits. I will send horses for you.)" Aragorn instructed her.

"(I will take him, I am the swifter rider.)"

"(The road is very dangerous.)"

"(Frodo is dying. If I can get him across the river, then the power of my people will protect him.)" She smiled slightly, "(I do not fear them.)"

Aragorn nodded. "(According to your wish.)" As Arwen climbed onto her horse along with Frodo, Aragorn called out in normal language. "Ride hard! Don't look back!"

She nodded and took off down the path.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Sam screamed. "THOSE WRAITHS ARE STILL OUT THERE!"


	9. Hug the Katie!

Frodo's head was spinning. His whole body ached. As his eyes cracked open, his vision was groggy. He rubbed his head as he sat up.

"Where am I?" He mumbled. He'd really just been thinking out loud, so he was shocked when he got an answer.

"You are in the house of Elrond. It is 10 o'clock in the morning on October the 24th, if you want to know."

Frodo looked over to the side. Gandalf was sitting next to the bed, smiling.

"Gandalf!" Frodo exclaimed, overjoyed to see his friend.

"Yes, I'm here. And you're lucky to be here. A few more hours and you would have been beyond our aid. But you have some strength in you, my dear Hobbit..."

"What happened Gandalf?" Frodo asked, "Why didn't you meet us."  
  
Gandalf sighed. "Oh, I'm sorry Frodo…I was delayed…"

Frodo frowned. "What is it?"

"Oh it's nothing."

Suddenly Sam burst into the room. "Frodo!" He hurried to his side. "Bless you, you're awake!"

"Sam here has hardly left your side since you arrived." Gandalf said. He was smiling again.

"We were that worried about him, weren't we Mr. Gandalf?"

"By the skills of Lord Elrond, you are beginning to mend." Gandalf turned his head and nodded. A tall regal-looking elf with look black hair and a stern face had entered the room without anyone's notice.

The elf smiled slightly. "Welcome to Rivendell, Frodo Baggins."

Suddenly, the door flew open. Carolyn, Katie, Caitlin strode in. They were all wearing elvish clothing. Katie was munching on a bagel for some reason.

"Frodo!" Carolyn cried hurrying to her friend. "Thank God you're alright!"

"Check it out!" Caitlin said grinning as she gestured towards her new elvish attire. "They've been treating us like we're heroes or something."

"Yeah!" Katie chimed in. She turned to a confused Elrond and held up her half-eaten bagel, "You elves make the best bagels!"

"Um…thank you…I suppose…"

Later, Frodo and Sam, closely followed by Carolyn, Caitlin, and Katie went out onto the terrace where Merry and Pippin were waiting. The four hobbits laughed and hugged, glad to be reunited.

"Hugs all around!" Katie cheered running to join the hugfest. But Carolyn grabbed her shoulder.

"Heck no. Don't you get it? The fellowship will be formed soon! This is my chance to meet Legolas in person, before Elrond sends us home!"

"He's sending us home?" Caitlin asked frowning.

"Well he should be able to. We did what we had to; we stopped the ring from falling into the wrong hands. Now they can go be heroes and we can go home, all's right in the world!"

"But what if there's more? What if we have to join the fellowship?"  
  
Carolyn frowned. "You know, that's a good point. I mean it feels like we're SUPPOSED to be here. This isn't just some fluke. I haven't even thought about how we're going to get home AT ALL up until now. To be perfectly honest, I've been having too much fun." She smiled. "Well, I guess we'll get home when we get home, now let's go see if Legolas is here yet!" She ran off.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Caitlin yelled. "I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING! YOU'RE PLANNING TO TELL HIM ALL THESE NASTY LIES ABOUT ME SO HE'LL PICK YOU! WELL IT WON'T WORK! COME ON KATIE!"

"But I still want a hug!" Katie whined as Caitlin dragged her off.


	10. Legolas, the Love Interest

Author's Notes: Just a note. If the words are in parentheses ( ), the'yre speaking in elvish.

* * *

Carolyn hurried down the stone path. "Boy, Caitlin has got to lighten up. Does she really think I'd pull a dirty trick like that?" She sighed. "Of course…Legolas is really hot…" She shook her head. "Oh come on! Sure he's good-looking, but I bet he'll never have any interest in me…"

Suddenly she overheard people talking. She glanced into a nearby building. Gandalf and Elrond were talking to each other. She pressed herself against the wall outside the door and listened.

"It is a burden he should never have had to bear. We can ask no more of Frodo..." Gandalf said.

"THERE YOU ARE!" Caitlin's voice rang out. She and Katie ran up to her. "WHAT ARE YOU-"

"Shh!" Carolyn hissed. "Listen!"

"Gandalf, the enemy is moving. Sauron's forces are massing in the East; his Eye is fixed on Rivendell! And Saruman, you tell me, has betrayed us. Our list of allies grows thin..." Elrond explained.

"We must look to the race of men for strength." Gandalf said.

Elrond laughed bitterly. "Men? Men are weak. They are greedy and think only of themselves." He spun around and pointed to where Carolyn and the others were hiding. "And apparently, some members of their race have a bad habit of eavesdropping!"

Realizing that the jig was up, the three girls sighed and stepped into plain view.

"You three!" Gandalf cried in slight anger, "What were you thinking?!"

"Listen," Caitlin said to Elrond ignoring the wizard's comment, "We know what happened. Isildur took the ring and refused to destroy it. He made a mistake, but not everyone from our race is weak."

"Yeah!" Carolyn explained, "All they need is a leader! Aragorn is supposed to be king, why doesn't he do it?"

Elrond looked stunned. "How did you know all that?"

"FORESIGHT!" All three girls said at once.

"I see…" Elrond said frowning. But he looked extremely skeptical.

A few minutes later, the three friends left the room.

"MAN WHAT A GROUCH!" Katie yelled angrily, "We listen to two minutes worth of their conversation and they act like we murdered their mothers!"

"Elrond didn't look like he believed our 'foresight' story." Caitlin gulped.

"This is bad." Carolyn sighed, "If Elrond thinks we're untrustworthy, he'll never let us join the fellowship and we'll never get home!" Her thoughts were interrupted however, when she bumped into someone.

"Oh Sorr-" She stopped in midsentence. She was looking at an extremely handsome male elf. He was about half a head taller than her; he had long blond hair and soft gray eyes. He was dressed in elvish attire. She blinked in amazement at him: it was Legolas.

"It's alright." He said nodding. Carolyn only stared up at him, her mouth slightly open in shock.

"LEGGY!" Caitlin screamed. She ran forward and flung her arms around him in a hug so tight that she almost broke his ribs.

"Can't…breath…" He gasped.

"I said it once, and I'll say it again," Katie said rolling her eyes, "You guys are sick."

Carolyn tore Caitlin free from Legolas and shoved her to the side. "Sorry 'bought that!" She said grinning up at the hottest guy she'd ever met. "She's harmless…most of the time." She stuck out her hand. "Nice to meet you! My name's Carolyn! My last name will not be revealed for security purposes!"

Legolas smiled; glad to see the one of them seemed to have a little sanity. He shook her hand. "Pleased to meet you. I am Legolas, prince of Mirkwood."

"HE TOUCHED MY HAND!" Carolyn thought happily. But she tried to hide her joy. "Nice to meet you, Legolas." Caitlin nudged her in the ribs. "Oh yeah," She said quickly, "This is Caitlin and Katie."

"Yo." Katie said shaking his hand. Her 'Fangirl Meter' didn't act up one bit.

As Caitlin shook his hand, she had a hard time restraining herself. "H-Hi…" She managed to stammer. Then she fell over and began twitching on the ground, trying to restrain the fangirl within.

"Alright then…" Legolas said raising an eyebrow. "Well I'm afraid I must be off. There's some nasty business about Sauron's ring. I must be going, nice to meet you." He gave a small wave in Carolyn's direction and walked off. She was staring after him, smiling dreamily. She was blushing slightly and her eye pupils had taken on the shape of hearts.

"He's…" She whispered, "He's even hotter in real life…and that voice! Did you hear him?!"

"Carolyn, snap out of it!" Katie said tapping her friend on the shoulder. "This is no time for you to be getting a crush on some elf!"

"It's not a crush!" Carolyn said happily. "It's love…"

Caitlin glared at her. "Really? And where does your little fantasy include me and him riding off into the sunset together?"

Carolyn's happy little look vanished. Her eyes narrowed. "What are you saying?" She growled dangerously.

"What I'm saying is, that you're not the only Legolas fangirl here." Caitlin said calmly, "Other girls would kill for a chance to meet him in person. And now that we have, I'm gonna go after him, romantically speaking."

"In your dreams!" Carolyn shouted, "He thought you were some kind of psychopath! And did you see the way he looked at me?! He even waved at me!" She folded her arms. "I get it! You're jealous! Well I like him too, and I've got something you haven't: a good first impression."

Caitlin rolled up the sleeve of her shirt. "Why you little-"

Suddenly Frodo hurried up to them. "Hi guys! What's up?"

"Nothing." Caitlin grumbled rolling down the sleeve of her shirt again.

"The sun is setting, don't you think you should be getting ready for bed?" Frodo asked frowning.

"I thought they were going to decide the fate of the ring today." Carolyn said.

"No, they'll be doing that tomorrow. Why don't you go to your rooms? I'll see you in the morning." He walked off.

Carolyn looked up and realized for the first time that the sun had set. "He's right. We'd better go get some shuteye."

As the three friends turned around, something dawned on them. _They had no fuggin clue where their rooms were._

"Shit, we're lost." Katie grumbled.

"You can say that again." Caitlin sighed.

"That again." 

Before Carolyn could smash her friend's skull into oblivion, they heard a voice.

"(The Shadow does not hold sway yet, Aragorn.)" A voice whispered in elvish. "(Not over you and not over me.)"

The three girls peeked through the bushes. Arwen and Aragorn were standing on a bridge talking.

"Wow!" Carolyn whispered, "It's the kiss scene!"

"Haven't we done enough eavesdropping for one day?" Caitlin asked.

"No." Both Katie and Carolyn responded.

"You're right, what was I thinking?" Caitlin said nodding. The three of them quieted down and waited.

"(Do you remember when we first met?)" Arwen continued.

"(I thought I had strayed into a dream.)" Aragorn responded. He clasped both her hands in his.

"(Long years have passed... You did not have the cares you carry now. Do you remember what I told you?)"

"You said you'd bind yourself to me, forsaking the immortal life of your people." Aragorn said in normal human tongue.

"And to that I hold. I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone."

With those words, she pressed her Evenstar necklace into his hand. "I choose a mortal life."

"You cannot give me this!" Aragorn exclaimed.

"It is mine to give to whom I will." She whispered. "Like my heart."

They leaned towards each other and kissed.

"This is so cool!" Katie squealed.

"I can't believe we're watching this!" Carolyn whispered. She turned and glared at Caitlin. "And I still can't believe _you_ forgot the camera."

"I didn't forget it." Caitlin snapped folding her arms. "You just didn't think of handing it to me at that moment in case we were pulled into another world."

At that moment, someone pulled the bushes they were all hiding in aside. The three of them looked up and saw Aragorn staring down at them.

"Eep." Katie squeaked.

"Well, what brings the three of you here?" Aragorn said. He sounded slightly amused.

All three of them fell silent for about two minutes. Then Carolyn spoke up.

"We're gonna run away now. Please don't chase after us."  
  
"Sure. Better luck next time." Aragorn said nodding. The three teens took off screaming, eager to leave and avoid provoking the Ranger's wrath.


	11. Finally! A Plot!

The next day, everyone sat in the council of Elrond. It was the day that the fate of the ring was to be decided. Carolyn, Katie, and Caitlin were all dressed in their normal 'earth' clothes again. Carolyn and Caitlin had both argued over who got to sit next to Legolas, but while they'd been bickering, another elf got the seat. The three friends were now sitting next to Frodo. He was looking nervous and fiddling with the ring.

"Strangers from distant lands, friends of old..." Elrond announced. Everyone fell silent. "You've been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle-earth stands upon the brink of destruction. None can escape it. You will unite or you will fall. Each race is bound to this one fate, this one doom. Bring forth the Ring, Frodo."

Frodo stood up and placed the ring on a small pedestal in the center of the gathering. Boromir's eyes lit up at the sight of it.

"So it is true... The doom of men... It is a gift. A gift to the foes of Mordor! Why not use this ring?" He smiled. "Long has my father, the Steward of Gondor, kept the forces of Mordor at bay. By the blood of our people are your lands kept safe. Give Gondor the weapon of the Enemy. Let us use it against him!"

"(cough)CRAZY!(cough)" Katie yelled as she tried to cover it up with her coughs.

"Bless you." Carolyn said.

"You cannot wield it!" Aragorn said interrupting him. "None of us can. The One Ring answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master."

Boromir turned and glared at him. "And what would a RANGER know of these matters?"

"This is no mere Ranger!" Legolas called out, jumping to Aragorn's defense. "He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance."

Boromir stared openmouthed at him. "Aragorn? This is Isildur's heir?"

"And heir to the throne of Gondor!"

"(Sit down Legolas.)" Aragorn said calmly. Legolas sighed and sat back down.

"Gondor has no king; Gondor needs no king." Boromir snapped.

"Aragorn is right." Gandalf added. "We cannot use it."

"You have only one choice. The Ring must be destroyed." Elrond stated.

"Then what are we waiting for?!" Gimli yelled out suddenly. Before anyone could stop him, he ran forward and brought his battle-ax down on the small ring. The moment the weapon made contact, there was a flash of light and Gimli was thrown backwards. His ax had shattered, but the ring was unharmed.

"That…was…so…BITCHIN'!" Caitlin cheered.

Suddenly, Carolyn, Katie, Caitlin and Frodo felt a burning pain in their foreheads. A huge flaming eye flashed through their mind's eye.

"The Ring cannot be destroyed, Gimli son of Gloin, by any craft that we here possess. The Ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came. One of you must do this."

"One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its black gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust. The very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly!" Boromir shouted.

"Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said?!" Legolas yelled. "The Ring must be destroyed!"

"And I suppose you think YOU'RE the one to do it!" Gimli snarled. Legolas shot him a dirty look.

"And what if we fail, what then?!" Boromir demanded, "What happens when Sauron takes back what is his?!"

"I WILL BE DEAD BEFORE I SEE THE RING IN THE HANDS OF AN ELF!" Gimli roared.

"And here comes the prejudice…" Carolyn, who (along with Katie and Caitlin) hates racism in all forms, sighed.

The whole council seemed to explode into arguments. The elves were yelling at the dwarves, the dwarves were trying to slug the elves and all the humans were trying to hold them each back.

Suddenly, Frodo, Carolyn, Caitlin, and Katie all heard a terrible voice emitting from the ring.

"Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul! Ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul!" The three girls covered their ears and closed their eyes in an attempt to block it out.

"I will take it!" Frodo shouted. No one seemed to hear him, so he stood up and yelled louder. "I WILL TAKE THE RING!" Everyone stopped and stared at him. "I will take the Ring to Mordor." He sighed. "Though… I do not know the way…"

"I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins," Gandalf said smiling weakly, "As long as it is yours to bear."

"If by life, or death, I can protect you, I will!" Aragorn added. "You have my sword!"

"And you have my bow." Legolas said.

"And my axe!" Gimli added.

Boromir smiled and turned to Frodo. "You hold to fate of us all, little one. If this is indeed the will of the council, then Gondor will see it done."

"HE CAN'T GO! HE DIDN'T NAME A WEAPON!" Katie protested. This remark was met with more punches from her friends.

"Hey!" A voice rang out. Sam hurried up to Frodo's side. "Mr. Frodo's not going anywhere without me!"

"No indeed." Elrond said smiling. "It is hardly possible to separate you, even when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not."

"Hey!" Pippin yelled as he and Merry ran up to Frodo and Sam. "We're coming too!"

"You'd have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us!" Merry added.

"Anyway," Pippin added, "You need people of intelligence on this sort of mission... quest... thing."

"Well that rules you out Pip." Merry said rolling his eyes.

"Nine companions." Elrond whispered. He nodded. "So be it. You shall be The Fellowship of The Ring."

"Great!" Pippin said grinning broadly. "Where are we going?"

Everyone face-faulted.

"Why not ask your three human friends?" Elrond said calmly, "They are gifted with foresight, are they not?"

Carolyn gulped. "Err…well…"

"Or perhaps…" Elrond said icily, "You can explain to the council why you lied about your powers and why you wear such strange clothing? Spies from Mordor perhaps?"

"NO!" Caitlin said quickly as the council exploded into angry shouts. "We're not spies from the enemy! We're just…um…" She didn't know what to say without giving themselves away.

"We bought these clothes at Hot Topic!" Katie chimed in before anyone could silence her.

"I see… And where would that be?"

"Back in our own world!" She said. Carolyn and Caitlin both punched her on the head again, but it was too late. 'Madam Moron' had sold them out.

Elrond looked like someone he trusted, had just swung a heavy bag of bricks into his face…hard. "Y-You…came from another world?" He gasped.

Everyone turned and stared at them. The council exploded into murmurs. Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin were staring at them like they'd never seen them before.

"Well…" Caitlin sighed. "Looks like we're busted…"

"You lied to us." Frodo whispered.

"We had to Frodo." Carolyn said sadly. "If we had told you we were from another world, you'd would've thought we were nuts."  
  
He shook his head and looked away. He refused to meet her gaze.

"It seems that the ancient prophecy has finally come true." Elrond said scratching his chin.

"What prophecy?" Carolyn said frowning.

"Yeah dude! Give us some answers!" Katie said doing her surfer-guy impression at the wrong time, as always.

"Katie!" Caitlin snapped. "You do not say DUDE to an elvish king! You call him 'sir'!"

"(Are they always like this?)" Elrond asked Aragorn in elvish.

"(Pretty much, yeah.)" Aragorn responded. Every elf except for Legolas and Elrond snickered.

"Fate works in mysterious ways." Elrond sighed. "You see; there is a legend in this land, that in a time when Middle-Earth falls into chaos three young maidens from another world will come to aide the chosen warriors in their quest to save our world. The three maidens will be gifted with the powers to travel between different worlds, and to aide the chosen warriors of THOSE worlds as well."

"YOU'VE GOT IT ALL WRONG!" Carolyn cried. "We're just a couple of high school students who were reading 'Return of the King' and landed in your world by mistake!"

"This book you were reading… Does it talk about Middle Earth?" Aragorn asked.

"Yeah…" Caitlin said frowning.

"Then perhaps the author of THAT book, had a psychic connection to this world, and wrote down what he saw."

"So… 'The Lord of the Rings' is based off an actual dimension?" Katie asked in shock.

"Yes." Elrond replied. "But let's get back to the point. Will the three of you protect our world?"

Carolyn, who was eager to find out more about this, spoke up. "What do we have to do?"

"You must go with the fellowship." Elrond explained. "You must aide Frodo, and help him get the ring to Mount Doom."

"Sounds pretty dangerous." Caitlin said with concern in her voice.

 "You may or may not live through it." Legolas chimed in.

"Well, your majesty, I am INTO this!" Carolyn yelled. Carolyn was a true warrior, who had always yearned to go on a real adventure. "When do we leave?! When do we leave?!"

Elrond looked over at Carolyn. "I suppose you must be the leader of this little club."  
  
 "I wouldn't really call this a club." Carolyn said shrugging. "But I guess I'm SORTA the leader. Caitlin has absolutely NO common sense, and Katie's…well…Katie. So I'm really more of a peacemaker, who keeps them from doing something unbelievably dumb, than a leader."

"I forgot what we were talking about." Katie said stupidly. "Sounds important."

"I shudder to think what would happen if those two had no one to guide them!" Gimli said pointing at Caitlin and Katie.

"In a nutshell: everyone would die." Gandalf sighed.

"No, no, no. Everyone ELSE would die." Caitlin corrected him.

"Well then I have a gift for you." Elrond said. He motioned for Carolyn to come closer. She stepped up to him. He reached into his robes and pulled out a glass sphere. It was perfectly clear and glittered in the sunlight. He placed in her hand.  
  
 "You want ME to have this?" Carolyn said frowning, "What's it for?"

"You'll find out soon enough. I daresay you'll find it very useful. Keep it with you Carolyn, you are the leader of the three girls."

"How come SHE gets to be leader?" Katie whispered to Caitlin.

 "Cause she the only one writing this story anymore."

"Why don't you just tell me what this sphere is for?" Carolyn asked Elerond.

"You'll find out eventually."  
  
 "Why don't you just tell me now?!"  
  
 "You'll have to learn how to use it on your own!" Elrond yelled angrily. He was starting to look pissed off.

Carolyn smiled and nodded towards the sphere. "And what if I decide to just SELL this thing?" Carolyn then learned that you can only push an elven king so far.  
  
'Cause that's when Elrond lost it.

Five minutes later…

Katie, Caitlin, Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Aragorn, Gandalf, Legolas, Gimli, and Boromir walked out of the courtyard. Katie was carrying Carolyn's sphere, she had a large black eye. Caitlin was carrying a frog that had recently been Carolyn. The frog looked ROYALLY pissed.

"Why'd he hit me anyways?" Katie asked. Her black eye was so swollen it covered her eye.

"One, because you're Katie, two, because you deserved it, and three, I think he was testing if he could give it to you in the first place. Who knew someone that looked so weak could give off such a strong fighting aura." Caitlin said as a matter-of-factly.

"But you're the bitch of the group! Why didn't you get hit?!"

"Because I ducked."

"I hate you… And besides that was completely unrealistic!" Katie yelled, "Elrond doesn't even HAVE the power to change people into frogs!"  
  
 "Don't worry Carolyn!" Merry cried to the frog, "We'll get you the best doctor money can buy!"  
  
"The best one we can AFFORD anyway." Caitlin sighed.


	12. All's Fair?

Author's notes: Just a quick note, Elerond turned Carolyn into a frog because she defied him, and threatened to sell a precious relic. And yes, there will be some romance in this fanfic, but mostly humor! But the romance that will be in it will be like something out of a shoujo manga. Enjoy the chappie!

* * *

Later, Caitlin and Katie were sitting in a room of the castle talking. They were waiting for the rest of the fellowship to come tell them it was time to head for Mordor. The sphere Elrond had given Carolyn rested on the table. Carolyn (who was still a frog) was sitting on Katie's head.

"Can you believe this?!" Katie squealed, "We're actually going with the fellowship! This is a dream come true!"

"I can't believe there's a prophecy around my life…" Caitlin sighed, "Elrond said that we'll be able to go into other worlds and aide the chosen warriors of those worlds too. I wonder what he meant."

"Maybe he was talking about other movies and books." Katie suggested, "Maybe every book or movie out there is based off an actual world."  
  
"SO WE HAVE TO GO INTO EVERY STORY KNOWN TO MAN?!" Caitlin screamed, "THAT'S GONNA KILL MY SOCIAL LIFE!"

Carolyn croaked in agreement.

Katie looked up at her slightly. "If you even think of peeing on me…I swear…I'll slit that little froggy throat of yours… and maybe its only worlds that are having problems." Katie added quickly, "Maybe the ones in charge of the dimensions have hard time watching everything and when something goes wrong, they'll send us to clear it up."

Caitlin heaved a huge sighed of relief. "That's good. You know, this job, as a heroine of worlds, might not be so bad. We might be able to meet the characters from our favorite books and movies."

"Yeah! Like Cujo!" Katie agreed.

"I am going NOWHERE near that dog." Caitlin said rolling her eyes and leaning back in her chair, "But I still don't understand what that orb is gonna do for us." She sighed. "And Carolyn's the leader? Oh boy, I am NOT looking forward to taking orders from her."

Both of them were silent for a moment. Then Katie spoke up. "On a completely unrelated topic, I wonder when Carolyn will turn back into a human."

POP!

There was a flash of light and the frog was gone. In its place was normal Carolyn. Unfortunately, the frog had been resting on Katie's head, so in about a millisecond, Katie was on the floor and Carolyn was crushing her.

"Yay!" She laughed, "I'm no longer slimy! Say, where's Katie?"

"Down here, dumbass." Katie growled dangerously.

"Oh there you are." Carolyn said cheerfully. She got to her feet and brushed bits of slime off her jeans. "Ick. I'll never piss of a ruler of the elven race again."

"I'd like to believe that this time." Katie sighed pulling herself up into her chair, "I really would."

"So any progress with the orb?" Carolyn asked sitting down next to her.

"Nope. But I'm guessing Elrond didn't want to tell us earlier just in case spies from Mordor were there. I overheard Aragorn saying that the orb is almost as important to the enemy as the ring." Caitlin stated.

"So this thing is supposed to bestow us with some magic powers huh?" Carolyn said staring at the crystal sphere. "But how to we use them?"

"I say we just smash it open!" Katie said grabbing it off the table.

"KATIE NO!" Carolyn screamed. Before anyone could stop her, she hurled it at the wall...just as Legolas walked in.

In moment of pure reflex, Caitlin dove forward and caught the orb, right before it smashed into the wall.

"Phew." She said standing up; "I got it." She then spotted Legolas and gulped. "Oops." She stuck the sphere back in Carolyn's hands, as if that somehow made her look guilty.

"...Carolyn, give me the sphere." Legolas said sticking out his hand. "I don't trust you three with such an important relic."

Carolyn, who had an amazing skill of being able to talk her way out of anything, came up with a perfect excuse. "Sorry, Legolas! They were playing 'Keep Away' with the orb. I tried to get it back, but they wouldn't listen! Then Katie threw it really hard and it almost broke!" She looked like she was about to cry and his heart melted.

"Well...alright. I suppose it wasn't YOUR fault." As he said 'YOUR' he shot Katie and Caitlin a dirty look. "Anyway, I just came to tell you, that we're about to set out on our quest. Are you all packed?"  
  
"Yep!" Katie said picking up the bag with their supplies. Katie had been named 'Official Pack Mule' for the group.

"Good. Then let's go." He turned and began to leave the room.

"That was a dirty trick you pulled." Caitlin growled at Carolyn when Legolas was out of earshot.

Carolyn smiled playfully at her friend. "All's fair in love and war!" She turned and hurried after Legolas. "Wait up, Legolas!"

As Katie (loaded with bags) staggered past her, Caitlin folded her arms and glared after Carolyn. "All's fair in love and war, huh? Well Carolyn, if that's the way you want to play the game, then let the battle begin."


	13. Exploding Stew

Author's Notes: Oh great. After six hours of relentless typing, I managed to type the story out, up until Gandalf's fall in Moria, and what does my computer do? It crashes and loses everything I added. So now I'm sitting here, frustrated beyond all possible reason. I'm retyping it all now, so it shouldn't have any affects on the updates. I just needed to complain to someone. THE STORY WILL CONTINUE!

* * *

Carolyn looked up and surveyed the group with a strange sense of awe. Boromir was teaching Merry and Pippin how to swordfight, Katie was reading a book entitled 'Pack Mules for Dummies', Caitlin was flirting shamelessly with Legolas, while Aragorn looked on, amused.

"It seems like it was only yesterday that we were all pulled into the book," Carolyn thought. She shuddered with slight embarrassment as she recalled the eager way she had poked the portal and been drawn in. "Why did I react like that? Did a part of me know this would happen? Was I so eager to escape the real world? It's like all of this is a dream, but it can't be. My dreams are always incoherent pictures and thoughts, they're never this vivid." Then another thought struck her.

"Well... I could be crazy. I could wake up a screaming wreck in a nuthouse." She tried not to think about it.

Instead she focused on what was in front of her. She was with the Fellowship, sitting on a hillside, stirring dinner in a small cooking pot. If in reality she was really sitting in a white padded room in straitjacket, she preferred the hillside.

She looked over at Caitlin and Legolas. Legolas didn't seem to be enjoying the attention Caitlin was giving him at all. He was leaning as far away from her as possible, and was sitting, with his arms folded, in a slouched position. Carolyn tried not to laugh.

"Go right ahead, Caitlin," Carolyn thought, "Flirt away. He'll just think you're crazy."

They had been traveling from Rivendell for about three days. During that short amount of time, the rest of the Fellowship was finally getting used to the three girls. Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin seemed to have accepted that their friends were from a different dimension, and were speaking to them again. Even Katie's wacky hijinks seemed normal to them now.

Carolyn loved traveling with the Fellowship. Even though nothing exciting had happened yet, she knew it would soon. Besides, she was happy just traveling with them. When she had first seen the movies, she had looked upon them as invincible heroes; heroes that always came out on top. But now that she was getting to know them personally, she knew now that they were just people, like her. She was glad to know them; and she knew Katie and Caitlin were too.

"If anyone were to ask my opinion," Gimli announced, "Which I notice they're not, I'd say we were taking the long way 'round!" He looked over at Gandalf, "Gandalf! We could pass through the Mines of Moria. My cousin Balin would give us a royal welcome."

"I agree with Shorty!" Katie yelled. Because she and Gimli were almost the same height, they had become instant friends. They had taken up the habit of calling each other 'Shorty'.

But Gandalf shook his head. "No, Gimli. I would not take the road through Moria unless I had no other choice."

Caitlin came over and sat down next to Carolyn.

"How's dinner coming?" She asked. Her voice had a cool tone to it. Ever since Carolyn's little joke back in Rivendell, Caitlin had become very cold to her. Carolyn had only been messing around when she blamed Caitlin and Katie for the orb's near destruction, but Caitlin seemed to have taken it as a personal attack.

Carolyn checked the surface of the beef stew. It was just starting to boil. "It's almost done." She smiled. "How are things going with Legolas?"

Caitlin sighed. "Progress has been slow, but I'm getting there. He likes me, he just doesn't 'like me like me'. But he will soon." She saw the skeptical look on Carolyn's face. "Go ahead. Say I'm crazy, that doesn't mean I'm not _right_."

"I doesn't mean you're not mad as a hatter." Carolyn thought rolling her eyes. She noticed that the stew was warm enough to test. She lifted a spoonful to her mouth to taste. The moment it touched her tongue, however, she gagged and spat it back out.

"What the hell!" Carolyn cried, taking a swig of water from a canteen at her side, to wash out the taste.

"What's wrong with it?" Caitlin asked innocently.

"It tastes horrible!" Carolyn said, "It's taste like someone filled it with-" She stopped, remembering the eager way Caitlin had volunteered to help her fix the stew earlier. Caitlin had added the ingredients while Carolyn got the fire going, "SALT!"

"Seven tablespoons of salt to be exact!" Caitlin chuckled gleefully.

"Caitlin! You just ruined dinner! Why did you-" She stopped. Her eyes widened. "I get it! You were hoping I would serve it without testing it! You were trying to make me look bad, weren't you?"

Caitlin smiled. "Well, I don't like to brag, but...yes I was."

Carolyn's eyes narrowed. "This is about Legolas, isn't it?" She said lowering her voice. "You're still mad I put the blame on you back in Rivendell. It was just a joke, Caitlin!"

Caitlin's eyes had narrowed as well. "I know that! But I'm not going to sit idly by while you act all sweet and perfect in front of him, like a regular little goodie-two-shoes. You have flaws just like I do, and I'm going to make sure he sees them!"

"And what flaws might you be referring to, my friend?" Carolyn hissed dangerously.

Caitlin went on. "You swear like a sailor, you're lazy, you won't get off the computer, you bitch and moan about every little thing, you get obsessed over things too much, you won't stop daydreaming when you should be focusing on reality, you never stand up for yourself, and YOU WON'T STOP READING WEBCOMICS!"

"So what?" Carolyn snapped, "Who doesn't like Megatokyo?"

"That's not the point! The point is, if all Legolas sees is your good side, then how can you expect him to like you? You're being so fake in front of him!"

"But..." Carolyn said looking down at the ground. "I just...I just don't want him to see my flaws and have him hate me for them."

"That's your problem right there!" Caitlin said triumphantly, "You worry too much about what everyone else thinks! You put up a mask so that you never show your true feelings! You think it makes you acceptable in their eyes, but instead you just confuse them!"

"Shut up, Caitlin." Carolyn whispered so softly she wasn't even sure she'd spoken.

Caitlin sighed. "See? You can't even give a decent retort when someone is yelling at you." She folded her arms. "At least I'm open about my feelings. I like Legolas too, and I'm not going to lose. Understand?"

Carolyn glared up at her. "You think you're pretty damn popular with this group, don't you?" She growled.

"Yeah, so what?"

Carolyn cupped her hands over her mouth and yelled to the rest of the group. "HEY GUYS! CAITLIN PURPOSELY DUMPED SALT IN THE STEW AND RUINED DINNER! I'M GONNA HAVE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN!"

Angry shouts erupted all over the campsite.

"I'M HUNGRY!" Pippin bellowed.

"YOU SUCK CAITLIN!" Katie yelled. She flung her book at Caitlin. It beaned her in the head.

"OW! THAT WAS THE CORNER!" Caitlin yelled rubbing her eye. She glared at Carolyn. "I'll get you for this..." She snarled.

At that moment, Boromir accidentally hit Pippin, knocking him down.

"OW!" Pippin exclaimed.

"Sorry-" Boromir started to say.

"Get him!" Pippin yelled. He and Merry dove playfully at Boromir.

"For the Shire!" Merry said triumphantly.

"DOG PILE!" Katie cheered running forward and jumping into the fray.

At that moment, Legolas frowned and looked up at the sky. Sam noticed his interest in that direction and looked also.

"What's that?" Sam asked pointing a black shape. It seemed to be growing larger every second.

"Nothing," Gimli said without interest. "Just a wisp of cloud."

Boromir pushed Katie off of him and looked up at the shape. "It's moving fast. Against the wind..."

Legolas spun around; a look of panic on his face. "Crebain from Duneland!"

Aragorn quickly jumped to his feet. "HIDE!" He commanded.

Everyone ran and hid behind a large rock. As they all pressed together, trying not to be seen, they could hear the sound of thousands of winged creatures flying over their heads. The small bat-like creatures were searching the area, as though they knew they were there.

When they were gone, everyone emerged from the hiding place.

"Spies of Saruman..." Gandalf murmured. "He turned and looked at everyone else. "The passage to the south is being watched. We must take the pass of Caradhras."

Carolyn had been holding the pot full of the ruined dinner. She hadn't wanted to leave it out so that the Crebain could see it. "Hang on." She sighed. "Just let me get rid of this stew.'

"Very well," Aragorn said, "But hurry."

Carolyn went up to a small cliff side, and dumped the contents of the pot over the side. The ruined stew spilled out and splattered all over the rocks far below. Satisfied, Carolyn hurried over to help everyone pack up camp for their journey through Caradhras.

But unbeknownst to the Fellowship, a piece of meat in the stew had been implanted with an explosive/tracking-device. It had been placed there by Saruman's spies in Rivendell, with the intention of wiping out the Fellowship upon detonation, and leading the enemy to the ring.

A few days later the cliff side Carolyn poured the stew over exploded. What the Fellowship had been doing at the bottom of the cliff, Saruman's servants couldn't say. But, they told him, even the three Chosen Ones couldn't have survived THAT explosion.

Evil masterminds have been saying this for centuries: it is _impossible_ to get good help.


End file.
